Close your eyes..
Imagine yourself in a wide vast area, all by yourself. It’s completely white. And you’re all alone. You hear the faint sounds of children and mothers crying and screaming for their lives in the background. You hear the destruction that’s happening outside, to the house right around the corner.. Could be your neighbors taking their last breaths, could be your best friend, could be someone you know! You forcibly push away all these thoughts from your head. You shut your eyes so tightly; you want to go into deep sleep and lose sense of what’s around you. You clench your wrists tight and your nails dig into the skin of your palms until they start bleeding. You can feel the flares up in the sky even when your eyes are closed shut. You can hear the close-by sounds of rockets and flares in the sky. You can feel and hear everything but your eyes are shut. Your heart is beating extremely fast. You almost wish it would stop beating. You know that it will. You think any moment now, any moment now. your tears start flowing uncontrollably. Your face is hot with sweat and tears. You think of the past, the present and the future. You think of the memories. You think of how you can, and how you will, lose everything in a swift second. You think of mother’s unconditional loving smile and father’s never-ending flow of supporting words. You think of the infinite laughs with your sisters, the crazy innocent days. You think of the future, your shattered hopes and dreams. Your dreams of giving back to the community; of educating the young. You wanted to be a teacher, to help make the children of Palestine grow up to be the people they wanted to be. You wanted to help them form their visions and dreams. Freely, with no restrictions. You wanted to aid them with chasing their goals and dreams and give them enough motivation to help them get through when times get rough. All you ever wanted to do was to create a better Palestine. A better future. A future filled with hopes and dreams and visions. And kids growing up to be the people they wanted to be. Those kids are gone. They are long gone now. The future of Gaza is gone. They are roaming around happily in heaven now. They dance and laugh loudly, you can almost hear them. You want to hear their laughs. They have cried for far too long. Their skin looks so pure and beautiful. It’s not covered with blood anymore, like when you last saw them. No. Their smiles illuminate the place. You want to join them. You can all hold hands and sing happily, and more importantly FREELY, over there. You let go of all sad thoughts and you give your last smile, tears streaming down your face non-stop. You hear the bombs getting extremely close. you inhale & exhale… For the last time ever. You say the shahada. The house where you lived your entire life, 19 years, gets blown up. You’re torn to pieces, literally.
You leave your mark in this world, even though we never met you. We pray for you and we pray for the freedom of Palestine. We cry for you and we cannot sleep at night. We think of you day and night. We want you to know you are not alone, but oh, my dear, I do not know how to make you not feel so alone.
We love you. Immensely. Even though we never met you, we love you and we want you to know you are courageous beyond words.
We envy you Martyrs. We envy you and we fear for ourselves. You, however, do not fear, my love. You have Allah’s unimaginably wonderful Paradise waiting for you.
We beg of you to forgive us for our governments and leaders have failed us tremendously. We are helpless, just as much as you are.
We hope we are lucky enough to meet you one day, in the highest fardous of paradise.
Goodbye my lovely, and beautiful friends.
Goodbye. ❤️
حبيبتي يا فلسطين!
fragmentsofmyjourney 